Cast:
Brock, a businessmanMinnie, an elderly womanBea, an elderly womanVince, a police officer
Setting:
On the side of a road near an embankment
At rise:
Minnie and Bea are seated in two chairs placed together downstage. Bea places her hand on the back of her neck and rotates her head, Minnie rubs her leg, Bea puts her hand on Minnie’s arm, both feel around their seats looking for glasses. Bea picks up her purse from the floor, roots around it to find a cell phone and makes a call. She puts the phone into her pocket.
A disgruntled Brock enters, walks to center stage, gestures and paces as he talks on his cell phone.
Brock: Yes. That was a crash you heard. (pause)
Well of course I’m all right, I’m talking to you aren’t I? (shakes his head)
Wait. No, I’m not all right. My bumper was pushed into the wheel. The car’s a wreck. I can’t drive it and it’s all your fault. (pause)
You really don’t know how you’re responsible? You had one job. (gesture with index finger)
One deal to close and what’d you do? You blew it. Do you know how much that’s going to cost me? They don’t call me Midas for nothing? I’ve got a golden reputation to protect. (pause)
Yeah. There was another car in the accident. The one that drove off the road. I did say it was your fault. I could have avoided them if I wasn’t upset with you. (leans over and looks downstage) Their car looks better than mine. They’re not in danger. I don’t see smoke but they will when I make them pay for what they did. (pause)
That’s like you to be concerned about them. Let me do the worrying. You fix the mess you made or you’ll be in worse shape than the people in the car down there. That’s all I have to say to you. I’ve gotta call a tow to get out of here. (hangs up phone and scrolls for a number, puts the phone to his ear, and turns away)
Minnie: Sister, are you all right?
Bea: I think so. (rubs her neck) My neck hurts some but you saved me.
Minnie: Me? What did I do?
Bea: Don’t you remember your silly rhyme when I forgot my seatbelt?
Minnie and Bea: Buckle, buckle or you’ll see my knuckle. (they laugh. Bea makes a fist and jabs the air)
Minnie: I’d never hit you, you know.
Bea: After all these years, you don’t think I know that? I love how make rhymes instead of nagging. Why do you think that car forced us off the road?
Minnie: I’m not sure. It was going fast. It swerved. I felt the impact before I heard the scraping sound of metal on metal.
Bea: (shivers) I can still hear it in my teeth.
Minnie: Those are some teeth you’ve got but I know what you mean. I held the steering wheel so tight you can see the imprint of the cover you crocheted. (holding out her hands)
Bea: Look. Seashells. I almost made the granny squares but the shells look so much better. I used wool that stretches so it would cling tight to the wheel. I’ll make another if it’s ruined.
Minnie: It wasn’t damaged. Let’s see if everyone in the other car is all right.
Bea: Why do you think that driver ran into us?
Minnie: Maybe it was a heart attack. Let’s see if they need help. (tries her door) My door’s jammed.
Bea: Slide across and come out my side. (Minnie and Bea slide out of the car and stand. They look towards Brock, who is talking on his phone with his back turned to them)
Brock: No, I’m not impressed that you found my location with GPS, that’s your job. That’s right, my car didn’t break down. It was in an accident. (pause)
Brock: Whether I called the police is none of your business. What the people in the other car do is their business. It’s your business to get here and give me a tow. I’ve got two Lincolns for you if you make it in twenty minutes. (Brock turns, sees the ladies who are approaching him and pockets his phone)
Minnie: Are you the driver of that car?
Brock: I am.
Bea: Are you hurt?
Brock: (Puts his hand on his back, bends, and limps) My back. It will never be the same thanks to you ladies.
Minnie: Us? You’re the one who pushed our car off the road.
Brock: Is that why it took you so long to get out of the car? You were cooking up a story to make it look like I hit you.
Bea: I beg your pardon, young man.
Brock: You should.
Bea: That’s not what I meant, and you know it.
Brock: (crosses arms and speaks into her face) You don’t know what I know. They should take the licenses from old people like you two.
Minnie: Didn’t your mother teach you any manners?
Brock: Leave my mother out of this. Do you know who I am?
Minnie: No. I don’t believe we’ve been introduced.
Brock: I’m Brock. Brock Henderson, Esquire. CEO of Henderson Media.
Minnie: I’m Minnie Wells and this is my sister Bea. I wish I could say it was a pleasure to meet you.
Brock: Okay, Boomer.
Minnie: You think you know me well enough to give me a nickname?
Bea: It’s a compliment, sister. You do have excellent diction and he’s noticed how you project your teacher voice.
Brock: A teacher, I should have known. One of those useless subjects like art or English so you can correct people? You seem to like that.
Minnie: First grade. I helped little ones get off to a good start. Let’s start over. We didn’t cause the accident, you know.
Brock: I don’t know that, and neither do you. There isn’t a judge who will listen to two confused old ladies.
Minnie: Confused?
Bea: Old? Now see here young man!
Brock: No, you listen to me. Were you the driver?
Bea: My sister was driving.
Brock: The one who’s squinting? There’s no sun. I bet you wear glasses. (Bea puts her hand into her pocket)
Minnie: I do.
Brock: But not now.
Minnie: I was wearing them. They flew off.
Brock: I don’t think you had them on. I’m a lawyer and I’ve got more resources than you. I know people. You can’t afford to fight me. You wouldn’t want me to sue. You’d lose your license and everything you own.
Bea: Let me get this straight. You hit us, but you want us to say we caused the accident?
Brock: I do.
Minnie: Why would we do that?
Brock: Because you can’t afford to fight me.
Bea: That would be wrong.
Brock: Haven’t you heard that might makes right?
Bea: I bet you were talking on the phone.
Brock: So what? I wouldn’t be a good businessman if I couldn’t multitask. Now are you going to do the right thing?
Minnie: You can bet on it.
Brock: If you’re ready to cooperate, we can call the police to report this.
Bea: No need. I called them. Look, here comes an officer now.
(Vince enters with a pen and paper)
Vince: Which one of you called to report this accident?
Bea: I did.
Brock: (points to Minnie) Officer, this woman has something to say to you.
(Vince turns to Minnie)
Vince: Miss Wells. Is that you?
Minnie: Vinnie, look at you all grown up. I’m not surprised you became a police officer. You always liked to lead the lunch line.
Vince: And you let me do it almost every day. Do you want to make a statement?
Bea: (takes the phone out of her pocket) Can we let Mr. Henderson speak for himself? I recorded his conversation on my phone.
(Brock clenches his fists at his side and storms past Minnie. She smiles at him)
Minnie: We know people too, and I really never felt confused.
Judy Salcewicz, a retired teacher, lives and writes in Lawrence. Her stories have been published in U.S. 1, The Kelsey Review, and six Chicken Soup for the Soul anthologies. Her work has also appeared in Women’s World Magazine, The Horse Network, and Right-Hand-Pointing. She is also a playwright whose work has appeared in Mercer County Library’s Playfest.
