Corrections or additions?
This article by Kathleen McGinn Spring was prepared for the August 7, 2002 edition of U.S. 1 Newspaper. All rights reserved.
Power Tools for Women — An Inventory
In this excerpt from her new book, “Power Tools for Women”
(Three Rivers Press/Random House), Joni Daniels sets out an inventory
of essential equipment for women.
The contents of your toolbox will include:
Safety Goggles — for Safe Vision. This most basictool provides you with clear vision and allows you to see and sellthe big picture. You can’t make progress if you can’t envision whereyou’re going and then communicate it in a persuasive way to others.The goal is to keep from getting lost and from losing others.Electrical Sensor — to Decipher Clues that People Sendand Your Internal, Intuitive Responses. Get a better sense of what’sgoing on behind the “walls” — that is, behind the socialfacades. You were trained from the time you were a child to ignoreyour intuitive responses to the behavior of others and go with whatparents, teachers, and the culture told you. A lot of subtle messagesget sent your way every day. If you develop the ability to pick upon the external signals people send you and your internal reactionsto situations, and to interpret them accurately, you can plan insteadof being taken by surprise.Demolition Hammer — to Smash Outmoded Rules. Sometimesthe many unwritten rules of life can harden around you like concrete.With your Demolition Hammer — awareness, strength, and tact —you can smash through policies and protocol that are dated, dysfunctional,detrimental, or downright foolish. As you learn how your deepest fearsof bucking the system — of being a rebellious little girl —keep you from pursuing your goals, you can also learn how to gracefullyyet effectively tear down the unwritten rules that get in the way.The goal is to be civilly disobedient.Tape Measure — to Establish Limits. Master carpentersalways need to know where one room ends and the next begins. The abilityto judiciously use the word “no” allows you to set appropriateboundaries. As a woman, you are encouraged to be nice, which meansalways saying yes to requests. But it’s vital that you develop a comfortwith refusing requests so that you’re not sacrificing your needs toothers’. And it’s equally important that you accept their refusals,too. The goal is to learn how to measure, respect, and enforce yourlimits.Power Saw — to Cut Away What Holds You Back. Ratherthan making excuses, covering the mistakes of others, or trying tokeep things afloat, cutting your losses will allow your whole shipto sail ahead more easily. With a Power Saw, you can eliminate whoeveror whatever is preventing you from achieving your objective. The goalis to embrace change and the risk that accompanies it by severingyourself from outdated, unproductive ways of doing things, includingrelationships that don’t work.Power Drill — for Precise Questioning. If you wantto create openings, you need to find the exact bits — that is,ask just the right questions — that allow you to progress. Whenyou know how to drill with precision, you understand when and whatto ask, what not to ask, and when to figure something out for yourselfat a later time. By becoming proactive about requests and diminishingthe guilt that may accompany them, you can be much more effective.The goal is to communicate precisely and genuinely with others.Soldering Iron — to Create Strong. Connections. Beingable to forge durable bonds in both your personal and professionallife with those most important to you will help keep you strong. Thiswill be especially apparent in times of stress, when you need thesupport of others. The goal is to reinforce all relationships thatcan provide you with support and strength.Power Sander — to Smooth Out the Rough Spots with Othersand Buff Up Your Sense of Humor. The person who knows how to polishrelationships and smooth down the edges between herself and othersis the person most likely to succeed — and to help others succeed.In fact, all the tools in your toolbox will work much better if youdevelop the ability to reduce the rough spots. An understanding ofwhat brings joy into your life and inspires smiles from others makeseverything you do easier. The goal is to reduce the roughness in yourlife and your relationships by replacing it with smooth rapport andenjoyment.Battery Pack with Recharger — to Generate Energy.There’s nothing worse than being in the middle of a task and not havingthe stamina and resiliency to see it through. If you know where yourenergy comes from, why it becomes depleted, and how to conserve whatyou have, you can avoid ever running dry.Voltage Meter — for a Reality Check. Your power canflow only if your voltage can flow — if your inner wires aren’tloose, broken, or tangled. You can keep track of what’s going on internallywhen you learn how to assess your strengths and weaknesses honestly,monitor your well-being, and address any short circuit that mightdevelop along the way.Duct Tape — to Apply in an Emergency Situation. Thereare times when the best tool, no matter how well honed, may not getyou the desired outcome. These are the “when all else fails”strategies: the rolls of duct tape you can use to slap together aquick — or permanent — fix when nothing else more obvioushas done the trick. The goal is to have an infinite roll of plan Bs.Depending on the situation, you may find that you have roomfor other Power Tools. I suggest, however, that just like any skilledartisan, you start with the basics and add to your tool collectionas needed.Previous StoryNext StoryCorrections or additions?This page is published by PrincetonInfo.com— the web site for U.S. 1 Newspaper in Princeton, New Jersey.
