ree Lunch Rap
Whoever said
There is no such thing as a free lunch,
I have a hunch,
Did not work at a university,
Or live in close proximity.
Come one come all,
For complimentary vittles, yah’ll.
You just have to know
Where to go.
Where’s there’s speaking,
Is where’s there’s eating.
On any given day
The Wilson School will pay
For a spread fit for a king,
Or queen or foreign dingaling.
When the black cars line up,
It’s the sign it’s time to sup.
And if those digs ain’t good enough,
Head to Murray Dodge and tough
It out with the Meditation lunch crowd.
(Where at least it’s not loud)
If tofu wraps makes you gag
Then grab an E-quad sandwich bag.
The Friend Center opens its doors
To hungry local entrepreneurs.
Literati can quaff tea and tarts
At the Lewis Center for the Arts.
Still famished? Well there’s MacLean House.
Tigers never walk away hungry.
(Just occasionally soused.)
Old Nassau you bounty of cuisine
Even if the Dinky and Wawa go
We’ll never be lean.
— Wendell Wood Collins
Wendell Wood Collins is director of corporate relations at Princeton University’s Bendheim Center for Finance. She lives with her daughters in Pennington.

