When I first started college I was lacking in ambition.
I didn’t want to be a teacher, lawyer, or physician.
I didn’t have a clue as to what I would like to be.
I settled for a non-specific liberal arts degree.
I found that I loathed literature and I detested lab.
I had no love of learning, but I had a gift of gab.
I majored and I minored in social interaction.
I found, in popularity, enormous satisfaction.
My non-descript diploma led to menial employment.
It paid enough to keep me fed but gave me no enjoyment.
I feared I’d spend my working life with boredom and with tension
Until I watched a televised political convention.
Each speaker at the podium blared praise or condemnation.
Each time they paused for breath there was a thunderous ovation.
Their ranting and their raving made no sense at all to me.
Then, in a flash, I realized what I was meant to be:
An orator, a statesman, not just a politician.
My words would free the world from its deplorable condition.
I penned a pious platform, but I found I had neglected
To formulate a strategy to get myself elected.
I had to learn the tactics of the campaign battleground:
How to spew out gibberish and make it sound profound,
How to make a looming tax increase taste sugar-coated,
How to contradict myself and claim I was misquoted.
Running a campaign requires an awful lot of cash.
Didn’t stand a chance to win with my depleted stash.
Struggled with my conscience like I never thought I would;
Told myself it’s justified — it’s for the greater good.
Promised a few favors in exchange for large donations,
Met with several lobbyists and fueled their expectations.
Sold my soul each time I made an off-shore bank deposit.
Argued with my conscience, then I locked it in a closet.
Waged a mighty TV blitz on network and on cable
Trashing my opponents as unsuited and unstable.
Took out lots of full-page ads that painted me as saintly.
Closed my mind and couldn’t hear my conscience sobbing faintly.
All the noble things I’d do would justify my actions:
I would feed the hungry and bring peace to warring factions.
In another time and place most likely I’d be knighted.
Here, I was elected, but I also was indicted.
