The Naked Truth

The August heat’s upon me

As I sit behind the wheel

Sad and lackadaisical

And fringed upon surreal

Driving round in circles still

Getting nowhere quickly

I can get obnoxious too

Now that I am sickly

Curve ball hit me in the face

It made me ill at ease

Face so broken I can’t smile

Despite the summer breeze

Summer breeze did blow me off Just like a phony friend

Yesterday we were great pals

Today we saw its end

Summer brought about great change

The spark within me died

It’s hard to show my fractured face

It’s harder yet to hide

So sick to death of my complaints

My wife to me did preach

Forget about your troubles

Let’s visit the nude beach

So smoldering a Friday

About 96 degrees

You really need a break, she said From all your misery

Having nothing left to lose

We drove down to the shore

And walked upon the burning sands

We’d never walked before

And without even pausing

We shed all of our clothes

Every fragment of our skin

Was totally exposed

It’s interesting to note

Although it may seem weird

As I sat there fully naked

My problems disappeared

Things that had possessed me And destroyed my unique style Suddenly now left me

And let me once more smile

I thought my fears would stop me Alas, it was not so

Only one thing scared me

I’d see someone I might know

The tingling feeling felt below Inside the ocean blue

Hard waves pressed against our skin

The sensation quite so new

Then like everybody else

Romping in their glory

Made me want to stop and write A dirty, racy story

But frankly as I stared about

Bare bottoms by my side

I noticed that most bodies Seemed too frail or far too wide

Flabby or too wrinkled

Too bouncy, much too old

I’m sure they felt my body too Was hardly made of gold

I don’t mean to be raunchy

Or obsessed about perfection

But was it any wonder

I hadn’t an erection

Sun was up, sky was blue

I suddenly remembered

I did not apply the sunscreen

To my disenchanted member

Indeed a task so arduous

Without causing some attention But I needed from the burning sun

Some guaranteed protection

Then ever so discreetly

With a towel overhead

I applied a dab of sunscreen While my face was burning red

Uncertain that it was the clothes

I gladly threw aside

Everything seemed better now

I didn’t need to hide

Everything turned clear as day As nightfall took its place

No longer did the whole world Seem to be upon my case

Sure I’ve still got problems

But faith in God have I

Created in his image

For I know now I’ll get by

Before the day was over

We made a few new friends

But I wouldn’t recognize them But for the tattoos on their rear ends.

— Barry Grossman

Grossman is director of business development for Cosmopolitan Staffing Services in Bridgewater. He spends much of his free time writing short stories and poems that reflect day-to-day issues. He lives with his wife and son in Monroe.