Corrections or additions?
This column was published in U.S. 1 Newspaper on December 8, 1999.
All rights reserved.
Between the Lines
As U.S. 1 correspondent Christopher Mario points out
in his cover story starting on page 14, this business of DNA
is serious stuff. Move one digit out of place in your genetic makeup
and it can spell disaster. On the other hand, the work being done
by Orchid Biocomputer may address such problems. As the sidebar on
page 20 explains, such information could be posted on a website and
you could even get an E-mail alert on new drugs that might be tailored
for your particular gene pattern. Potentially good news, even though
such advances are still far off.
Our cover image, designed by Stan Kephart, shows a beam of light on
a DNA base (taken from an Orchid Biocomputer diagram), which results
in an optical signal that reveals the presence of a specific Single
Nuceolotide Polymorphism (SNP). Orchid’s proprietary genotyping system
may someday help determine whether a person will get a particular
disease and how that person will respond to a particular drug. For
an overview of biotechs in central New Jersey, see Barbara Fox’s
On your way to those serious stories, you may notice Melinda
interview with CPA Stephen Klein, who urges businesspeople to
for Success." We thought Klein had a point, and in light of all
the heaviness that appears elsewhere in this issue, we decided to
canvas family and friends for some punchlines from the frontlines
of the corporate battleground. Here were some submissions. Since Klein
advises that no one take him or herself too seriously, we begin with
an accountant joke:
A guy needs a consultant, and so he gives a simple test to the
— what’s the sum of 2 plus 3. The first candidate is a
who answers quickly: "Five, and I can prove it empirically."
The second candidate, an engineer, responds: "The sum of plus
or minus 2 and plus or minus 3, is plus or minus 5," he says.
The third candidate is an accountant. When presented with the problem
the accountant closes the door and lowers his voice: "How much
do you want it to be?"
Then there was the guy who died and went to heaven. At the pearly
gates the devil appeared and asked him to check out hell, which had
a bad image, the devil admitted, but really was a pretty cool place.
The deceased took advantage of a trial offer and loved it — and
went back to St. Peter and told him he was declining heaven’s offer
in favor of hell’s. But when he arrived for his permanent stay, he
discovered that hell was full of pain and suffering. He sought out
the devil and asked him to explain the transformation since his
trial period. "Oh," said the devil. "Then you were a
now you are a customer."
We also heard of one pretty harmless office prank. A physicist who
is not so computer savvy receives an AOL Instant Message asking him
to state his name out loud as part of a system test. The victim says
his name once. Then the computer asks him to say it louder. Then
louder. Eventually, at the computer’s request, he gets down on his
knees to speak directly into the computer, at which point the office
breaks out into hysterics. The AOL message, of course, was coming
from a colleague a few seats away.
Advanced Biomedical Research, 61; Aesgen, 55; Allelix
55; Anthra Pharmaceuticals, 15; Arete Capital Advisors, 63; Biomira
USA, 55; Bristol-Myers Squibb, 53; Celgene, 15, 54; Coelacanth, 56;
ComGenix, 56; Compugen, 54; Congenomics, 54; Cytogen, 15;
55; DelRx, 58; Delsys, 58; DNX Transgenic Sciences, 55.
EpiGenesis , 55; Genome Pharmaceutical (GPC), 57; Hy-Gene,
58; I-Stat, 15; Incara, 56; Inteferon Sciences, 55; Integra Life
15; Interlink, 54.
KPMH LLP, 15; Life Enhancement Institute, 7; Liposome, 15,
56; Locus Discovery, 54; Medarex, 15, 56; Merck, 56; Merial, 54;
Technologies, 58; Molecular Tool, 14; Nassau Capital Advisors LLC,
63; New Media Partners, 62; New School for Music Study, 63; NexMed
Inc., 56; Nextran, 55; Nycomed Amersham, 15; Orchid Biocomputer, 14,
Pacesetter Group, 10; Palatin Technologies, 15, 56;
651; Pharmacopeia, 15, 58; PharmaSeq, 54; Physiome Sciences, 54;
15; Polytherapeutics, 58; Praelux, 54; Princeton Management
10; Princeton Securities Corp., 63; Princeton Trade & Technology,
61; Princeton University, 53; Sage Group, 15; Sarnoff, 53; Secure
Commerce Services, 61; Senesco, 55; Seq Inc., 54; Small Molecule
56; Therics, 58; Tyger Scientific, 58; UDC, 61; Veritas, 58.
As a "suddenly single" bachelor I read Melinda Sherwood’s
article on the singles scene with interest. While not, strictly
singles groups there’s two divorce/widowed/single self-help groups,
that might be of interest to your readers. One meets Monday nights
at 7:30 at St. Gregory ‘s in Hamilton (call Judi @ 585-2037) and the
other meets 7:30 at the Hopewell Presbyterian Church on Wednesday
nights. They both to one degree or another schedule some social
Incidentally, I think it was Groucho Marx not Woody Allan, who coined
the phrase about not wanting to join a club that would have him for
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A Professional Limited Liability Company 212 Carnegie Center, Suite
206 Princeton, New Jersey 08540-6236 email: email@example.com
URL: http://firms.findlaw.com/taxdefender Fax: 609-275-1041 Tel:
What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start.
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